Relationships are built on trust and intimacy. When we stop being ourselves with someone or hide things from them, the relationship suffers as a result. Moreover, the connection we once had becomes weaker. There are many ways in which intimacy can get lost. Today we will have a look at the reasons and solutions to save a relationship that is spiraling downward out of control.
How Intimacy Gets Lost
As the years go by, it is normal for intimacy in a relationship to fade. When we first meet the person we love, everything is new and exciting.
During this initial phase, our hormones are seemingly exploding. We can think of nothing but happiness and love.
It is during the first few months of a relationship that couples are very physical. Lots of touching, kissing, cuddling and sexual intercourse occurs in the early stages of a relationship.
Over time, these things dwindle. Your hormone levels balance out, new elements enter your lives, and you gradually see your partner in a more realistic light. Thus, the amount of physical intimacy between partners diminishes.
You get used to your partner’s presence. The relationship may even become less special and unique than it once was. Feelings of comfort and routine replace the excitement and passion of the early days. This process is normal and happens to almost every couple, but it can result in a breakdown in the connection between two people.
Finding the Intimacy You Once Lost
Intimacy is basically the idea that you and your partner understand each other. You know when you are in an intimate relationship, as you will be able to be open with your partner about your feelings and affection, without fear of rejection or criticism.
Bear in mind that emotional intimacy is a part of any good relationship, not just with your lover. You can have this sort of intimacy with parents, friends or even a pet.
If you feel that the intimacy is dying in your relationship, then make it your priority to turn the tide and sort things out. Below, we will share with you 12 great ways to bring the intimacy back into your life:
1. Take Pride In Your Appearance
At the start of a relationship, we stress about every little detail of our appearance. As time goes by, we tend to take less care of ourselves. We don’t worry as much about the way we look.
To recover your intimacy, it makes sense to go back to the way you were in the early days. Personality counts, but both men and women are attracted to physical features.
Looking good will make you feel better about yourself. It will also make your partner more easily aroused and attracted to you. Soon after, intimacy will surely follow.
Tell yourself that you deserve more love and attention and that you need to look your best, both for yourself and for your partner. This sort of self-affirmation and positive thinking can keep you looking great every day, as well as boosting your mood.
2. Tell Her Your Secrets
We don’t have to share every single thing with our lovers, but a great way to grow closer to someone is by telling them things that no one else knows. Sharing secrets is one of the things we do to show our trust and build our bonds. Tell your lover things about yourself that you have never told anyone else. We are sure she will appreciate your honesty and openness.
3. Try New Things with Your Wife
This can involve any sort of activity. It might be something simple like playing a game or watching a movie, or may be more active like climbing a mountain or taking a dance class.
Either way, sharing some quality time with your partner, with the pair of you focused on the same activity, will help the two of you grow closer.
You can share a whole new experience together. And then, in the future when you remember that activity, you will associate with your partner and vice versa.
4. Spend Time Together Doing Simple Things
This one might sound silly, but it works. Don’t limit your time together to romantic dates or trips to the cinema. Do chores together or simple tasks.
Even something as mundane as visiting the supermarket can be made more fun by spending that time with your partner.
By doing basic things together, you have more time to chat and share your feelings and thoughts. Even if you don’t talk much, spending time in each other’s company will remind the two of you why you love each other.
This is especially relevant when the pair of you have hectic lifestyles or children. A busy life can interrupt a relationship by reducing the amount of time you are able to spend together. Therefore, by sharing little errands and trips, you will have some quality time that you might not have had otherwise. Moreover, you will see that it’s more fun to do things with your lover than on your own. When you find someone who makes chores more enjoyable, you know you have found the right one.
5. Get To Know Your Mate’s Family
This might not be possible for everyone, as well have different families and different circumstances.
However, if possible, spending time with the family of your partner and inviting her to spend time with yours will be very beneficial to your relationship.
Family is an vital part of our lives. Our parents and siblings are the people we grew up with. By inviting your partner to spend time with your family, you are essentially inviting them to become a part of your family, and vice versa.
It’s also significant to remember that when you are in a relationship, you aren’t just going to get to know your partner. You have to meet her family and forge bonds with them, as well. As you show interest and grow closer to your partner’s parents and other family members, she will appreciate the efforts you are making and the entire family will grow closer.
Women can also find it difficult to break away from their families. It’s imperative to show them that they don’t have to worry, and that her family will always be welcome in your new lives.
6. Support Her When She Needs You
One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone there when you need them. This works both ways and is vital for the well-being of any couple.
In hard times or moments of need, your partner should always be there to offer a shoulder to cry on and a comforting voice to support you.
It’s easy to be there for the fun times. We can all enjoy dates, vacations and sleeping together. However, love and bonds are really tested in the tough times. Intimacy is all about doing things for the person you love that you wouldn’t normally do for anyone else.
This means that when she has a problem or wants to talk, don’t ignore her or answer half-heartedly because you would rather go and watch TV. Listen to what she is saying and be there for her.
7. Show Her How Much You Love Her
Every woman is different.But, they all want to feel appreciated and loved by their partner. So, you need to express your affection in any way you can. If your girl is an old-fashioned romantic, write her love letters and poetry.
If she is not into soppy stuff, then show how much you care in other ways by supporting her and helping around the house. If she loves surprises, then treat her with gifts she won’t be expecting. If she has been talking about something she wants to do, offer to do it.
The way you show your love doesn’t matter, as long as you show an effort to please her. Even if you fall a bit short and don’t really know the best way to express yourself, she will appreciate your efforts much more than if you hadn’t bothered to do anything at all. A simple thing to do that we can all forget from time to time is to tell her you love her. Those three words don’t take a lot of effort, but can mean the world to your partner.
8. Make Your Lover Feel Appreciated
As time goes by in a relationship, we can forget the simplest things. On those first few dates with your partner, you surely complimented them again and again, praising their every act and feature. Over time, we gradually stop doing this and our partners do notice.
Women often do an awful lot of work, whether it be in their careers, with the children, around the house, with the rest of the family, or more. All of this hard work can often go unnoticed. We all want to be appreciated for the things we do, and our partners are no different.
When she puts in so much effort to do something, don’t forget to thank her and let her know how much you appreciate the things she does.
Pay attention to what she does. Don’t just eat the food she prepares for you every day without even taking the time to thank her.
Similarly, try to notice her appearance the way you did when you first met. Women regularly make lots of effort to look their best for their partners, even after many years together. Thus, you should notice this and letting her know how attractive you find her.
9. Eye Contact Is Vital For Your Connection
When communicating with anyone, eye contact is vital. You will have probably been told to maintain eye contact at all times during a serious meeting or job interview.
But, the same is true when communicating with a relative, friend or lover. You can learn a lot by holding someone’s gaze because it shows that you are paying attention.
Eye contact is even capable of triggering the release of a chemical in the brain called phenylethylamine that makes you feel happy. It is a sign that you trust your partner. It means that you are listening to what she is saying, and that the two of you share a connection. So, keep your eyes locked on hers.
10. Stay Strong And Loyal In Difficult Times
Men need to be strong sometimes. We don’t all have to be virile alpha males.But, you have to stand up for yourself and your partner in times of need. She needs to feel some level of protection when she is with you. Even if you are not the biggest or strongest guy out there, you need to present an image that shows you will look after your partner and will keep her safe.
At the same time, loyalty is vital in a relationship. Infidelity will destroy any trust and intimacy the two of you have built up over the years and will hurt your partner enormously. Stay faithful to her at all costs.
11. Don’t Judge Your Women Based On Your Past
Sometimes men tend to react to womenfolk based on what other women have done to them in the past. May be a past girlfriend reacted badly or hurt you when you were younger.
So, now you find it difficult to trust women or judge them all based on that one girlfriend. This isn’t a wise thing to do.
It’sessential to realize that every woman is different and you can’t put them all in the same category. Some ladies will let you down, others will not. Thus, you have to get to know your woman and see how she is before judging her. Start to notice her and list the positive points you can find. You will soon realize how special she is.
12. Simple Communication Is The Foundation For Intimacy
Talk. Talk about anything. Talk about serious things or simple things. Whatever the subject, communication builds bonds and brings people together much more than silence ever can. Even if the subject is negative and you need to talk about a problem, it’s still better to share your feelings with the person you love. Discussions will reveal and develop the trusting bonds you have with each other.
In addition, if the two of you are having problems, then talking about them will allow the pair of you to work through the issues together, rather than suffering alone. Above all else, be patient. It takes time for intimacy to develop. You won’t necessarily see results overnight. However, if you love your woman and want to bring back the spark you once had, you have to be willing to be persistent and make the effort to recover your intimacy.
The tips above should help you when it comes to improving your emotional bonds. But, when it comes to physicality,other solutions are available.
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